This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize