I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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