he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize