That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
