Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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