I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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