You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
