Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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