smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Randomize
