He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
