i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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