Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
