I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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