So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
