I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Text me some of your sweat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
