I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
