Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
