dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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