used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
