Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
