two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
