Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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