Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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