Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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