so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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