I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
