what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
