Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
