i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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