so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
