margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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