He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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