i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
