Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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