He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
