i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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