I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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