Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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