All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
