Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
