We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
