we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize