you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
