Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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