The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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