can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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