This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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