How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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