He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
