The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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