Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
