i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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