she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He did a backflip because drugs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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