I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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