eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I cut my penus on the lid.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
