YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
