he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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