do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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