Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
