Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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