If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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