you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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