I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize