Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
