My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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