You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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