wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
