I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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