hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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