Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
